I Can’t Take This Anymore!
by Sephira jo
Summary: Kaoru gets a computer somehow (don't ask, its for the story so therefore my word is law) and starts surfing the web for fanfiction. Does she like what she finds? Or does it drive her to insanity!


Title: I Can't Take This Anymore!

Series: Rurouni Kenshin

Rating: R for language and sexual innuendo

Pairings: N/A

Slightly AU

  


Author's note: If you can't figure out what I'm saying in this fic, well then read it again and try again. This fic is something else in disguise. It's a masquerade! Hehehe, candy to the person who guesses it! ^_^ Not that I have candy or anything. . .*giggles*

  
  
  


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Kaoru sits at her computer with its wonderful highspeed internet connection. The computer had been provided to the dojo by means which made no sense, since computers didn't exist as they are now in the Meji Era. But the author is playing on your willing suspension of disbelief by placing something that was never in this time period there, so it's best to just accept that Kaoru has a computer and a high speed internet connection over a hundred years before both became available to the public at large. Trust me, it's just better this way.

  


Any way, Kaoru sits at her fancy computer with its wonderful highspeed internet connection. And what is any young female anime character going to do with her time? Why, she's going to go to fan fiction sites and read the stories there. So she surfs the high speed connection (where in the dojo did she find the plug ins? Hmmm, Ignore this plot hole) to a fan fiction site. Enjoying the large selection of fics, she smiles.

  


Her contentment does not last long.

  


Kenshin runs into the room after Kaoru let loose a soul shattering scream, not unlike that of a banshee. (Again, ignore a cultural reference that makes no sense, I'm playing on your willing suspension of disbelief.) Kenshin runs up and slides to a stop beside her. It's really amazing that no matter where he is in the dojo or in the world, he is perfectly attuned to the sound of Kaoru's scream. Kind of like the bat light, from bat man, isn't it? Kaoru screams and Kenshin runs across water, fire and sword wielding idiots with English names to save her.

  


"Kaoru-dono, what's wrong?" He asks, because no matter how bad the author's trying to make a point she can't bring herself to use "Miss," which, in, translation is nowhere close to the actual meaning of -dono. So it will stay.

  


"Kenshin, I can't take it any more!" Kaoru says, her voice shrill, "I can't believe what they're doing to us in these fics!"

  


"What do you mean, Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin asks and Kaoru pulls him up to stare at the monitor, practically shoving his face into the glowing screen. Not even Kenshin questioned the presence of such a machine. After all, the belief has been suspended as you read this.

  


"They're doing awful things to us! First off, no one seems to like the original story line, because they put us in what's called AU fics, or alternate universe and make us do and say things we would never do or say because it's an AU," she says, her voice distraught.

  


"That's horrible Kaoru-dono," Kenshin says, only half agreeing, because Kaoru is still shoving his face into the monitor. She realizes this and lets him go. He takes a deep breath in relief.

  


Kaoru continues, "These AU fics are awful! We're almost always in highschool, where the age difference between us is ignored. Worse yet the teachers seem to be M.I.A. when we do _things_ in places like closets, cafeterias and libraries!" Kaoru takes a deep breath herself before continuing on, "Then there's these fics that make us do strange, gross things like sucking blood, or turn us into spies in the future, or change our roles around enough that we can't be recognized except for our names."

  


Kaoru shakes her head, tears starting to drip from her large blue eyes, "Then there are fics that are just badly written romance novels, that even though they put us in Japan, where we belong, don't pay any attention to _our history, our culture._ I've been shoved in fairy tales, made to do awful things with Enishi . . . "

  


"What!?" Kenshin shouts, this last thing making his temper begun to snap, "Where does _that_ happen, Kaoru-dono?"

  


Kaoru points to the screen and Kenshin goes pale. He looks over at Kaoru, his eyes worried, "You wouldn't really do anything like that, would you Kaoru-dono?" he asks, like he himself isn't sure.

  


"NO!" Kaoru screeches, "He was a fucking psychopath! I mean, he was nice enough to me and all, but he was _trying_ to _kill_ you Kenshin! And he was always talking to his dead sister, as if I'd sleep with a guy like that!"

  


Kenshin shakes his head to clear the ringing out of his ears, "Okay, Kaoru-dono," he says, "Is that all?"

  


Kaoru shakes her head, "There are fics that have us doing _things_, not that I mind that," she amends quickly, a blush staining her cheeks, "but they all tend to be badly written. Then there are stories where the fic is one long paragraph! It's just too hard to read. Then there are stories where the author seems to think he or she can speak Japanese, but they don't know what they're saying. I've lost track of the number of times someone has made you say 'Hai de gozaru'," she shakes her head.

  


"Made me say what?" Kenshin asks shocked, and Kaoru points it out, along with a ton of other bad grammatical errors that no Japanese person would make. Kenshin shakes his head, "I can't believe this, that I can't," he says quietly. He looks at Kaoru, "Is that the worst of it?"

  


"I wish," Kaoru snorts, "Some of the people who post on these sites don't even write! They just take other peoples stories and reword them. Sometimes they repost them as they are, word for word! It's just like stealing. Then there are people who post authors notes in the middle of their story, making you think they've updated when they haven't. Or people who post a 'coming soon' note, without posting the actual fic."

  


Kenshin shakes his head, one hand finding his way to Kaoru's shoulder, "That's really too bad, that it is. But surely there are good fics too," he says.

  


"Yeah," Kaoru answers, her tone defeated, "But they're so few and far between now that I wonder why I even bother any more. Its like people don't like the cannon story line, don't like our characters and want me to have sex with that psycho Enishi." Kaoru bows her head, "It's just too much."

  


"Are _all_ the fics bad though?" Kenshin asks, trying to cheer her up.

  


"Well no, and I do see a few good AU fics . . . but not many. Most of them are badly written. But a few authors do it right," she says.

  


"Really," Kenshin says, trying to draw her out, "Like who?"

  


"Well . . . " Kaoru bites her lip, "Chiruken writes some really good AU, so does Talaco and a couple others," she starts, cheering up slightly, "And there are plenty of good fics here too," Kaoru blushes, "I really like this one," she says pointing to the screen. Kenshin looks at the screen with her, Kaoru has book marked a story called "The Bridal Discussion" By RiikiTikiTavi and another story called "Gentle Goodnight" by Spiralbluefetish. 

Kenshin smiles, "Well then, they can't be all bad, can they?" he asks, running his fingers through Kaoru's hair, "Why don't you stop for tonight, Kaoru-dono," he leaned closer to her, "This unworthy one needs your help with a certain problem, that he does."

  


Kaoru looks at him, blushing, "Kenshin! You're evil!" She laughs, turning off the computer she gets up to join him in his wicked plans. As they walk off to their bedroom she has to rant one more time, "You know what else I hate?" she says, "Fics that are all written in present tense and are just the author's excuse to rant."

  


The end.

  


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End file.
